Sunday, December 28, 2014

Words/phrases to retire and/or redefine from 2014





When it comes to language, our twins offer up words and phrases throughout the year that are pretty darn cute, at first. When an older boy climbed on the forbidden outer play gym area at the local McD's, they were both in shock, claimed it was “unnatural” shook their little heads and wondered when management would alert the police. Earlier in the year, after our first big science experiment, they switched out the word 'guess' for 'estimate.' When considering a choice between carrots or celery, “Carrots, I estimate.” Adorbs, right? But there are a few phrases and words we’d like to see end with the twins' 4th year and the last days of 2014.

Oversharing: When we go to the grocery store, the twins turn into little reporters, sending out verbal news blasts about our little family. “We can’t buy ice cream anymore because Daddy lost more weight than mommy.”  “Daddy slept on the couch for two nights.” (It was a back problem, I swear!)

"Sharing": As in “I’m sharing with Jack” while the boy whimpers he wants his toy back, please, and rubs at the mark on his head. They really want to "share" the neighbor kid’s iPad, a lot.

"Butt": As in “Look at my butt, hahahahahahah.” “I have a butt, hahahahahah.” “Jack has a butt, hahahhahah.” “The dog has a butt, hahahahaha.” “Daddy has a big butt, hahahahaha.” “If I eat more chocolate I’ll have a butt like mommy?” No, seriously, this was a question when we were trying to share with them that eating more than the allotted one piece of chocolate would make them ill.

"I have an idea": As in “Please put shoes on so we can go shopping.” “Wait, I have an idea! Maybe we go to the park? Do you want to go to the park or McDonald’s? Your choice.”

Knock Knock Jokes: This started earlier this year. It began kind of cute: “Knock knock.” “Who’s there?” …. "It’s me, Jack,” said with a bit of an incredulous pout because we obviously didn’t recognize our own son. It has devolved into: “Knock knock.” Sigh “Who is there?” “Butt, hahahaha.”  Of course.

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